Saturday, December 27, 2008

'Twas After Christmas

'Twas after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvellous meals that were prepared,
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely reared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please.

As I dressed myself in an old shirt,
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter disguised in that shirt!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore.
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot
Happy almost New Year to all and to all a good diet!


Jans Funny Farm said...

Oh, Sassy, we really feel for you, friend! Maybe you and Parker can exercise together?

Asta said...

Sassy sissie
"twas the most depwessing postie evew..I wefoose to diet and excewcise too, unless it's wunning awound playing bitey face ow chasey chase ow something fun..pawhaps you could just play thundewing heawd of Efelants..and then have a snack
smoochie kisses

Angel MoMo and Charlotte said...

Hehehehe, sis!!! I can do with some of the weight. Courier it over!!!

SS has the same problem. Maybe you and she can exercise together and I could cheer you two on at the side, while sucking on an ice cream! Yummmmmmm!!!

Alastriona, The Cats and Dogs said...

On NO!!!!! The dreaded D word. We thinks that might happen here too. Scylla has been referred to as Kitty Cow to many times for comfort. ~S,S & C

Daisy said...

Sassy, I put on a couple of ounces myself! I think we would enjoy it more if, instead of "exercise", we thought of it as playing. Really hard playing.

Black Cat said...

Hahahahahahaha!!! Love the poem and pictures, you are so funny!

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you Sassy and your family:) xxx

Gemini and Ichiro said...

Hey that sounds like the Woman!

Sweet Purrfections said...

Mom wants to know why the new year must always start with a diet?

Anonymous said...

Hahhaha how bad is it!! I mean hooman I can understands.. but us?!?!


Islay said...

Hi Sassy, sounds like you had a top notch Christmas - notch on the belt that is! WHo are your friends there helping you with the buffet? Enjoy your week, Sassy and remember, food is great - any buffet you can walk away from is a good one, no matter how uch of it walks away with you!

love & licks,

Juno said...

Sassy Sissy!!

Humans always need to watch their diet!!! hehehe..

Hope you're having wonderful holidays!!

Momo & Pinot

Leslie said...

Oh Sassy darling - you are a dear little piglet just like our beautiful Trixie. lol

Piglets are beautiful Sassy so remember that when you think that you have to diet.

Trixie got told she was too wide. She just... smiled!

We love your blog. We hope you are doing well. We all are.

Oh - and you said a blouse was too tight - um, get a bigger one! :)

Hugs from the topcatrules girls, big Trixie and Tigger and Pyewacket. XXX

Just Ducky said...

HAHAHAHA, good one. Now where are the good foods, I don't diet!

Samantha & Mom said...

Hahahahahahaha!! I think I will join you in the diet, too, Sassy! (Sam)
Your FL furiends,

The Cat Realm said...

You are funny!!! Come here in spring when the lizards come out again! They have something that makes you rail thin!!! So you can indulge all winter long because come spring - you'll be thin by eating!!!!!
I hope the humans never find out about this or they'll steal all my lizards, hahahahahahahahahah!

Deb Cushman said...

Oh, Sassy, we can relate! Deb stepped on the scale this morning and they could hear the screams three blocks away!

The Activist said...

Yes to good diet Sassy, you can do it!


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